Probably it's an idol.
My name may be Mary, but everyone calls me Martha.
I'm sitting on my couch with my new noise-reduction headphones, testing them out as my boys build lego bases covering my living room floor and my daughter holds down the other end of the couch with her laptop.
We received some amazing news last night that I can't officially share until the 15th of this month. I think in each new blessing we are offered an opportunity to tear down a high place altar that is a barrier to living into the joy filled life Christ promises. I discovered one about 11:00 am this morning as a result of last night's news. I think I am addicted to planning and orderliness - BUSYNESS.
I'm not a great fan of the fast-paced lifestyle. I couldn't run from one activity to another all week long for very long without the complaining, grumpy, hormonally-driven woman I try to subdue exercising great control in my home. But a fast-paced day of planning, writing and checking off to-do lists, organizing information at home - now that's satisfying in it's own freaky way. My brain would not shut down last night as I began making plans. And this morning I told God I would shower first before I came to worship Him. Up at 5:30 and it only took until 12:00 to sit down and be quiet with God. Unfortunately for today, my "best" quiet time is before anyone else is up. My "best" quiet time is truly when it's quiet. Hence the noise-reduction headphones - which are working reasonably well I might say. Go Sony!
We're supposed to bring our "best" to God as worship. I guess I'm putting this out there as a way of confession and accountability because I know my
~best thoughts~best dreams~best understandings~best plans~best conversations~best motivations~best attitudes
they all come from my quiet morning devotion with God. I was reading today's My Utmost, and as usual God has a good word for me every time I seek it.
"He moved from there to the mountain east of Bethel, and he pitched his tent with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east; there he built an altar to the LORD and called on the name of the LORD." Genesis 12:8
Bethel is the symbol of fellowship with God; Ai is the symbol of the world. The lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Him.
...there is always time to worship God.
I have lived long enough and in enough places, nurturing friendships that I always think are forever and usually are just for seasons to realize that time, space and distance can skew not only who you know someone to be, but even change the perspective on your memories. I want to know God. That will be a lifelong commitment to "growing old together" I guess. I don't want who I know Him to be today to be fully reliant on my yesterday's with Him. I don't want my memories to skew my perspective of God's character. I don't want to be too busy to discover His newness each day. After all, I fell in love with God in my yesterdays - I keep falling in love with Him in my todays.
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
...and that they are new every morning isn't lost on me. I'm heading back to my quiet place first thing in the morning. So don't text me, send me an email, or call because I'll be ignoring you! I'm tearing down that high place of BUSYNESS.
"I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lam. 3:24
Find your quiet time before the Lord, Favored One!