Monday, August 27, 2012

Looking for a New House

I just quit again.
  
It's okay, I'm not unhappy with myself this time.  I have been thinking of moving from this quiet space soon.  It has been a perfect home for me to discover a passion for sharing Him through written words.  A space to become comfortable with computer keys, uploads, and help searches while crisp paper pages waited patiently on a shelf, a peek through the door at me and my loves.  And who knew you would stay to read the entries?  After all, most of the time I'm known as the one who makes you cry in unexpected places.  Like bus stops when you knew better than to visit Favored One without a tissue.  Hugs to you, dear friends, and many thanks for allowing my life to share yours for a moment.

I have recently reclaimed the hard-bound pages that I love to scrawl wet ink across and in doing so have discovered I have outgrown this space.  Or maybe it's just time for a fresh start.  I have spent my entire adult life moving every two to three years and my blogger account, while the perfect start-up home, isn't where I see myself settling down for good.   I don't want a new identity.  Favored One is who I am.  I think I just need more space.  

I want larger rooms to welcome you in to, places to get to know new friends and celebrate old ones.  And more sitting environments, so you will linger in fellowship and share the touch of acceptance and love. 
More mirrors on the walls, to see who you truly are, a Favored One of God.  And a community to pull you back a bit from the reflection when you all see are blemishes. We need sisters who will point out beautiful features when ugly stares back at us.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/karolgrafik/4354141985/sizes/m/in/photostream/
photo credit
Secret rooms, to practice the hard work of closing the door on distraction.  To sit with Him in stillness, waiting to hear His voice in the quieting of our hearts.
I think it's time for a new home.  Finding the next place to unpack my treasures, hang my memories on the wall, and create a space of radical hospitality will take time.  Again today I set about doing the simplest of things, making the name plate that will hang above the door.  And who knew there would be another TobiBenton in this world to have already laid claim to that domain?  And Favored One? Well that will always be the name of the house we share together.  Our family who seeks to rest for more than three seconds on the art God creates in our lives by the favor of His hand.  But FavoredOne is not for sale, and I am out of ideas right now for the first of steps towards moving this home.

Which suits me just fine right now.  Having moved my home from one side of the world and back again a few times I know good preparation is what keeps lives running smoothly during transition.  It protects against broken things and loss.  And it makes unpacking on the other end less work.  Someday soon I hope to send you my new address, Favored One, for you are always welcome here.  

And why do I always have to write this way?  Why can't I simply say:
I always feel just shy of over-my-head in this social-media blogging world.
I struggle valuing the time spent in learning to navigate it.
If I devote the hours it takes, then I've elevated it above other things on my priority list and feel like I've run ahead of what God is asking me to do in this space.
I'm glad you're still here anyway!

I am in the "next" life stage.  The weight of His favor poured out on me has been almost too much to stand beneath.  And Jesus said,

These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to you life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living.  They are foundational words, words to build a life on.  If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock.  Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit - but nothing moved that house.  It was fixed to the rock.  Matt.7:24-25  The Message

It is not hard to understand great storms originating from hell's fury or the world's distractions.  But to be swept away by the opening of heaven's floodgates?  His favor can be like a rain cloud in spring.  

I don't want homeowner improvements with the riches he has piled in my yard.  I want foundation words worked into my life, a house built on the rock.  This will take time as much as talent, so I need to remember to value the time it takes to create this space as much as I value the talent it takes to fill it.  I am grateful for the quiet space Favored One continues to provide in my life.  I hope it remains a respite for you as well, even as I begin to pack up in preparation for a move.

If you have a clever way to write Favored One for a domain name I would love to hear from you.  I can't see favoredone without reading favore done.  Maybe that actually works best, because I am seeking to see all my life as proof of favor done by Him.  Let me hear from you, friends.

May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us - yes, establish the work of our hands.  Psalm 90:17  NIV

...still counting grace...
1606.  Ben, returning to the computer and the story he's writing, after he forgot to save and lost two hours of work.  
1607.  Me, returning to this post, after having to stop for eye exams.  I came back today.
1608.  Healthy eyes, and confirmation that mine need the over-the-counter1.0+ to read better
1609.  Black-bean mango salsa and a game of Munchkin to follow dinner
1610.  The Secret Place and behind-closed-doors whispers with God
1611.  Returning to Kingstowne and the blessings of community to follow
1612.  The boys together in a new youth group experience
1613.  School is about to start and this year is exciting!
1614.  A new scout troupe to visit tomorrow night
1615.  Friends in Mosaic to get to know better, questions to ask, and words of wisdom to receive
1616.  You can build a life on His words.


8 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness. Who knew it would be so difficult?!? I certainly didn't...

    Is His Favored One taken? Don't want to add more to your title, but that's all I could come up with!

    And black bean mango salsa...oh my. I'll be right over! :)

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    1. I'd love to have you! Would you add to Favored One, or add my middle initial: TobiKBenton? : )

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  2. Isn't that I tricky thing. I'll put my artsy , creative thinking cap on and see if I can think of anything for you. Maybe coffee in Tysons or somewhere in the middle between me and you would get the juices flowing. Meanwhile, we'll all just hang out here. :)

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    1. When/where are you thinking for Tysons? I'd love to!

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  3. What about favored1 ? With the number? And if you said something about that not working forgive me. I will admit to skimming to try to catch up on things tonight.

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    1. Taken as well. : ) And big, big hugs to you tonight.

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  4. When I was trying to pick a domain name, the website I was using gave me suggestions based on my initial search...you may try that to see what they come up with. The new "thang" is definitely to go with your name, so maybe try the initial?

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  5. I must apologize for my silence of late here. Tobi, I must have subscribed incorrectly way back when and not noticed due to clicking to read from FB or being drawn in 1002 directions. So sorry. Maybe that places us in the same just shy shy of over my head camp?

    Domains are so hard. Hmmm. tobibentonfavored1? psalm90?

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